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A Letter to My Stepdaughter on Her 13th Birthday
Dear Stepdaughter, THIRTEEN. I cannot even begin to wrap my head around it. I am still over here trying to wrap my head around the fact that you are as tall as me! You know, this past summer, your dad and I sat in a parking lot and counted down the summers we have left with you and cried like babies. FIVE. Five summers. How can this be? The other day I actually found myself googling “how to slow down time.” Yep, I sure did. My sweet girl, you’ve been so busy growing up. And so have I… Sometimes I think back to those early years. Oh, how many days…
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Three Reasons Why I am No Longer A Scary Stepmom
I’m baaaack…for the first time in about two years, and it shows because I had 242 unread blog comments, which is a project for another day. A day that will probably never come. Just being honest. As much as I love writing on this blog, I’ve had to use all my writing skills on graduate school these past two years, and have had neither the time or energy to consistently post on here. I hope that will change soon, as I get closer to graduation! Yay! Now, back to the point. This is an article I wrote back in 2019 that I have had several platforms ask if they could…
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5 Things Every Remarried Dad Needs to Know
A special thanks to my super handsome and amazing husband, Seth, for sharing his wisdom with us. Ladies, I recommend sharing this with your husbands! You have to REPRIORITIZE. If you are (re)married, the relationship hierarchy should be 1) God, 2) Wife 3) Kids. Men, keep in mind that everyone has a seat at the table, but it’s up to you to make sure everyone sits in their appropriate place. It may feel counterintuitive at first, but your wife deserves to be your number one priority and your children deserve to know what a healthy marriage and family looks like. 2. Stop revolving your life around your KIDS. Consistency and…
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If Looks Could Heal
“Do you think his eyes will stay blue?” my stepdaughter curiously asks me one day as we lay across my bed staring at her baby brother. “Oh, I definitely think he will keep them,” I reply. “Do you think his hair will stay blonde or turn dark like Eli’s did?” she inquires of me again. I tell her, “I sure hope so.” And I mean it. I really do hope he keeps his blue eyes and blonde hair. Just like his sister. You see, the way you look is important in a family and even more so in a blended family. Looks are powerful symbols of relatedness and belonging. Looks…
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A Stepdad’s Perspective
A few weeks ago, Logan Pierce and I connected on social media and I immediately felt like God was calling me to share his story! There aren’t a whole lot of resources out there for stepfathers, so him and I were both really excited to share his story with other stepdads and anyone else who might enjoy reading about a Stepdad’s perspective! Enjoy! First and foremost, before I share my story, I would like to thank Rachel for this opportunity to encourage and help all the blended families out there. I hope you all know you are not alone, the struggles and the hardships are temporary, and the seeds you…
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A Letter to Future Stepmoms
Dear Soon-to-be Stepmom, I see you over there, eyes bright and full of love and admiration for the new little family you have been asked to become a part of. I know how lucky you think you are to join them on this adventure called life and how special it feels to know that your husband chose you. And I am so happy for you. But mostly, my heart hurts for you. Because you are so oblivious to the pain and heartache that awaits you just around the corner. I want to protect you so badly. I want to warn you about all of it so that your tender heart…
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Dear Stepmom, It’s OK to say “Happy Mother’s Day.”
This Mother’s Day I’m gonna switch things up a little and I know a lot of you won’t like it and that’s okay. So, my stepdaughter left Friday to go spend Mother’s Day with her other family for the weekend and before she went to bed Thursday night, she came in my bedroom and apologized for not having me a Mother’s Day gift. She said she made me one and forgot it. Same thing she said last year (and possibly the year before). It caught me so off guard because honestly, the thought of her getting me a gift or acknowledging me at all for Mother’s Day hadn’t even crossed…
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Stepmom Confession: I’ve Been Living A Lie
It’s true. But in my defense, I had absolutely NO idea. See, for the past six years I thought that all the fear, anxiety and pain I was dealing with was because of the dysfunctional situation I married into. And from the outside looking in, it definitely made sense. But see, that was the problem. I was looking on the outside to make sense of all the problems I was dealing with on the inside. I mean A+ B= C right? Example: Husband gets a completely unnecessary, nasty message and then tells me about it. I am now seeing red. “Nobody talks to my husband like that. This is…
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Six “Quick-Fixes” For An Instantly Better Marriage
First, I would like to preface this by acknowledging that I only figured out how to make my marriage better by first doing 401,000 other things that made my marriage worse. Finally, after almost five years of trial and error in a blended family marriage, I can confidently say I have stumbled upon a few “quick fixes” that almost instantly made my marriage better (and yes, I still do those other 401,000 things, too). FYI! These work for first-time marriages and remarriages all the same! COMPLIMENT, COMPLIMENT, COMPLIMENT. Every day. Every single time your husband does anything you can come up with a compliment for. When you happen to notice how sexy…
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My Stepkid is Scared of Me. Here are 7 Reasons Why.
I know. My title comes off a little creepy, but it’s premise is true. My stepdaughter is scared of me and has been since she was old enough to really understand what was going on around her. And I wouldn’t change a thing about it. In fact, I think it’s one of the best things that has ever happened to our relationship. Seriously. Now when I say she is “scared” of me, I am really talking about a healthy kind of fear that I think every stepkid should have for their stepmom. Let me explain. I call her out. If my stepdaughter starts pulling away, acting awkward or manipulative, I…
