There’s Still Hope For This Stepmom

A few weeks ago, my family threw a Tacky Christmas Disco Party. Yeah I know, that sounds really strange, right? Well, what can I say? We have a crazy love for disco music and holidays. And honestly, we are just always looking for an excuse to get together and make some fun memories. 

As I made my way to the dance floor, covered in costume-clad relatives and flashing multi-color lights, I couldn’t help but chuckle with pure delight at all of the tackiness, hilarious dance moves and smiling faces. So I jumped in. And we danced. Together. All of us. And we laughed our butts off when someone slipped  “Baby Got Back’ into the disco playlist. I saw every rear end in my family shaking on that dance floor and this may sound crazy, but the only thought that popped in my head was that “this must be what heaven is like.” Everyone I love in one place having the time of their life. Where nothing else matters but love and togetherness.

And then it hit me on the way home, something my Uncle/Pastor said in church after Thanksgiving. He was talking about the holidays and how special they are to us. He said that it was just a small glimpse of what heaven would be like. A huge gathering of family, celebrating together in perfect love and harmony. 

And then I started thinking about heaven. Because you know, we don’t think about the awesomeness of heaven near as much as we ought to. We have such a one-track worldly mind we can almost forget that as believers, we have eternal bliss waiting on the other side of this life. 

So, Stepmom. Let me speak to your heart tonight. Don’t get too excited now, but when we get to heaven, we won’t be stepmoms anymore or ever again. And sorry but I can’t pretend that doesn’t send huge wave of relief through my body. It’s not that I don’t love mothering my stepdaughter, but I can’t wait to be free from the pain, heartache and drama of stepmomhood. Free to love her as a sister in Christ and not as the woman who married her dad and her mother wishes didn’t exist. 

There are days I have to fast forward time in my head when I am struggling with the challenging relationships that were brought into my life when I became a stepmom. I remind myself that ONE DAY, this particular person and I (assuming they will be in heaven and I hope and pray they are) will have a 100% pure, honest and perfect relationship. That the truth of everything will be fully known and that there will be complete understanding and forgiveness of all that transpired here on this earth. Sometimes, we have choose to focus on the reality of that eternal relationship rather than the temporary one we have right now. Because the temporary one, is just that. Temporary.

“Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ⁴ ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’^[b] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

Revelation 21:3-4

I want you to really soak this in stepmom. You will never hurt again. You will never cry again. There will be no more conflict. No more chaos. No more dysfunction. ALL OF OUR RELATIONSHIPS WILL BE PERFECT. That’s right, PERFECT.

Anyway, I know its the holidays and everyone is expecting this post to be full of good cheer, but guess what? Reality is that trials and tragedy are just around the corner. For all of us. No one is exempt. And the older you get the worse it gets. Just last week, one of my best friends passed away unexpectedly. First time I’ve lost a best friend. Now, she was in her mid-70’s but it didn’t soften the blow. I had spoken to this friend almost every single day for almost 7 years. I hadn’t talked to her in a month when she died. I didn’t get to tell her goodbye. Or how much I loved her and how much her friendship meant to me. Merry freaking Christmas. 

I tell you all of this because the truth is there really isn’t anything on this earth we can put our hope in. Not people, not our jobs and certainly not the holidays. There is only one hope for us stepmoms. For every other living soul on this planet. And that is the hope of heaven. Where we will finally be made holy, in the presence of Almighty God. Our Creator. Our Father. Our EVERYTHING. It’s only in heaven that we will be truly free of the burdens of this world, blissfuilly wrapped in the arms of Love for all of eternity. It’s going to be so amazing, Stepmama. More than your heart could have ever imagined. The PERFECT family.

Until then, keep running your race stepmom, and keep your eyes fixed on the prize of heaven. 

Merry Christmas!