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A Letter to My Stepdaughter on Her 13th Birthday
Dear Stepdaughter, THIRTEEN. I cannot even begin to wrap my head around it. I am still over here trying to wrap my head around the fact that you are as tall as me! You know, this past summer, your dad and I sat in a parking lot and counted down the summers we have left with you and cried like babies. FIVE. Five summers. How can this be? The other day I actually found myself googling “how to slow down time.” Yep, I sure did. My sweet girl, you’ve been so busy growing up. And so have I… Sometimes I think back to those early years. Oh, how many days…
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Three Reasons Why I am No Longer A Scary Stepmom
I’m baaaack…for the first time in about two years, and it shows because I had 242 unread blog comments, which is a project for another day. A day that will probably never come. Just being honest. As much as I love writing on this blog, I’ve had to use all my writing skills on graduate school these past two years, and have had neither the time or energy to consistently post on here. I hope that will change soon, as I get closer to graduation! Yay! Now, back to the point. This is an article I wrote back in 2019 that I have had several platforms ask if they could…
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If Looks Could Heal
“Do you think his eyes will stay blue?” my stepdaughter curiously asks me one day as we lay across my bed staring at her baby brother. “Oh, I definitely think he will keep them,” I reply. “Do you think his hair will stay blonde or turn dark like Eli’s did?” she inquires of me again. I tell her, “I sure hope so.” And I mean it. I really do hope he keeps his blue eyes and blonde hair. Just like his sister. You see, the way you look is important in a family and even more so in a blended family. Looks are powerful symbols of relatedness and belonging. Looks…
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A Letter to Future Stepmoms
Dear Soon-to-be Stepmom, I see you over there, eyes bright and full of love and admiration for the new little family you have been asked to become a part of. I know how lucky you think you are to join them on this adventure called life and how special it feels to know that your husband chose you. And I am so happy for you. But mostly, my heart hurts for you. Because you are so oblivious to the pain and heartache that awaits you just around the corner. I want to protect you so badly. I want to warn you about all of it so that your tender heart…
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Stepmom Confession: I’ve Been Living A Lie
It’s true. But in my defense, I had absolutely NO idea. See, for the past six years I thought that all the fear, anxiety and pain I was dealing with was because of the dysfunctional situation I married into. And from the outside looking in, it definitely made sense. But see, that was the problem. I was looking on the outside to make sense of all the problems I was dealing with on the inside. I mean A+ B= C right? Example: Husband gets a completely unnecessary, nasty message and then tells me about it. I am now seeing red. “Nobody talks to my husband like that. This is…
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11 Things Your Husband Wants You to Know But Doesn’t Know How to Tell You
Ok, Stepmoms! This is how a remarried dad really feels. And this is straight from the horse’s mouth! 1. I wanted the perfect family just as much as you did. When we got married, I thought you were the answer to all of my problems and that you being in our lives would magically fix everything. I am just as heartbroken and disappointed as you are when things aren’t going the way we hoped they would. 2. The reason I get so upset when you complain about my “baggage” is because all I ever wanted was to give you the the perfect life. I wanted you to have everything you ever…
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11 Things No One Tells You About Marrying a Man With Kids
1. Sometimes you are going to feel like an outsider in your own “family.” Even if your step kids welcome you with open arms. Even if the ex likes you. You will feel left out when your husband jokes about being a parent in a conversation with friends and when he goes to school functions without you. You will get knots in your stomach every time you sit down at the dinner table, dreading what awkward or inappropriate comment is going to come out of your stepchild’s mouth this time. You will feel insecure when they laugh about old memories, because up until now, none of them involve you and…
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A Perfect Storm
This week, my husband and I packed up our two wild boys (one human, one pup) and headed up to a small mountain town in North Alabama. He had to go for work so we decided to make a fun little road trip out of it. Because riding in a car with a three year old and a puppy is FUN, right? Well, when we planned this trip we had no idea we would be dodging a Hurricane at home, but it just happened to work out that way. And it had me thinking, you can’t really run away from the storms at home, because the aftermath will still be…
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Mommy Dearest
Wow this was a tough one! This is something that was not only hard for me to write but will probably be hard for you to read, whether you’re a stepmom, mom, stepchild or just a curious reader. But sometimes we have to talk about the hard stuff and that usually involves getting outside of our comfort zone. And just to warn you-this post isn’t funny or lighthearted and a maybe a little preachy, but I am just going to jump right in here! I want to talk about something that every stepparent feels the underlying tension of but maybe hasn’t consciously confronted yet and that is, the part they…
